Saturday, January 22, 2005

Gag Me

Guess what happened to me today. You never will so I'll tell you.

In the laundry room of my apartment I talked to a guy in my ward who I had never spoken to before but had seen around school. After conversing for a few minutes I asked if he was MK's Music on my ITunes shared music list. He said that he wasn't but he wanted to know why I thought so. I said because he seemed like a Bjork type of guy. His laundry was still wet when he left.

I gagged on almost every call I took at work today. It was strange but as soon as I heard a voice on the other end, my eyes would roll back into my head and my tongue would stick out. This may seem trivial but giving out information while dry heaving is no easy task. The weird thing was I didn't feel sick before or after calls, just during. I can only guess this condition was brought on by the number of times I heard students use the word random when asking for phone numbers.

Between calls at work I filled the time by adding new captions to the pictures in my history textbook. While I was coloring wigs red, in "The Founding of WENDY'S," the words to the hymn "Have I Done Any Good?" came to my mind. I felt bad because I hadn't done any good in the world today and then I kept coloring.

There was no one in my apartment when I got home from work. This never happens. I didn't know what to do first, read journals, eat food or steal money. Of course, I would never do any of those things but my options were open. This summer I spent a month alone in my parents house and I was miserable. After living with my crazy roommate for a semester I think I'm ready for another go at isolation. Thanks, crazy roommate, for helping me realize I don't enjoy human interaction anymore.


At 9:26 PM, Blogger The Amazing Spider-Fan said...

Tell me about it! Not only is the word random used to replace suitable adverbs like, odd or eccentric but it can apparently be used to replace entire sentences. For example here is a conversation I overheard one horrid afternoon while staying after for journalism.

Rachael Gunn (aka Blinky McGee): So even though Aragorn is a fictional character, I bought him a present for his birthday, which I was forced to make up a date for.

Mrs. Mathews (aka Drinky McGee): Interesting. So why did Mat6t put a picture of Wolfman in his article about John Cage?

Rachael Gunn: Random

Rob Magleby (aka Stinky McGee): [running out of the room] Ahhhhhhh!

Michel Howarth (aka… Aw come on I can’t come up with four in a row!): [Sighing with desire and said in a half Scottish half gibberish accent] I wish Alex were here.

At 9:31 PM, Blogger The Amazing Spider-Fan said...

Take that Falcor! Up until now you have been the first to comment on every one of Berkeley's post's. Ah ha ha, he he he, oh ho ho.

At 10:21 AM, Blogger Kacy said...

Zing! Good job, Spazzy McGee. You stole my thunder so now it will sound stupid when I say simply, I too hate it when people say "random," as described above. The End.

At 5:23 PM, Blogger Alex Morrise said...

Rob, that was one heck of a post.

At 5:26 PM, Blogger The Amazing Spider-Fan said...

You stay away from my sister!

At 2:14 PM, Blogger Alex Morrise said...

So, Rob, what do you think about those Hurricanes in Europe?

At 8:16 PM, Blogger The Amazing Spider-Fan said...

Okay look, I'm writing the comment about the "R" word, and let’s just say: Just because someone is in A.P. English, doesn’t mean they know what an adverb is. (You did your best Paul.)

At 11:38 AM, Blogger The Stunningly Handsome Nate Perkins said...

Wow, your posts are soo random!

At 10:28 PM, Blogger The Stunningly Handsome Nate Perkins said...

Hey! I just realized that since Paul is in the reserve now you can go out with me! Excellent.

At 6:50 PM, Blogger Bart Zamboni said...

If someone were to tell me I looked like a Bjork kinda guy, I would leave too. In all of my interactions that has never come up. The shear funniest moment of your blog however was the part about doing good in the world. I rarely do good in the world, but in the midst of guilty feelings I rarely remember to continue coloring.


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