Saturday, February 26, 2005

All Out of Teen Spirit

10 things I've never done at age 20

1. Had a boy girl party. I hear they're the coolest but they must be really evil what with all the boys and girls in the same room. Maybe when I'm thirty I'll throw a small mixer to see what all the malarkey is about.

2. Been fishing. There is a picture of me holding a fish at a lake in my scrapbook but I don't remember catching it and I'll bet it was staged. Hunting makes me sad but fish are ugly and don't have personalities so killing them doesn't bother me.

3. Seen Casablanca. I'm sure it's a great movie but I just haven't had the time. Of course, there are plenty of movies I have seen that I wish had been Casablanca. Some titles include; "Shazaam," "Kate and Leopold," "Microcosmos," "Speed 2: Cruise Control," "Spice World," and "Teen Wolf 3."

4. Been to a real concert. Pretty sad, huh? Wait, does Rockappella count? No, no it doesn't. I don't like to look at it as me having never been to a concert, rather as me being one of the biggest losers I know. Seriously, I have been to a Rockappella concert. I was twelve and it was the coolest thing I had done in my life up to that point. Sadly it probably still is.

5. Kissed a boy. I don't know why this is because I have really great lips. Maybe I should stop telling boys I've been to a Rockappella concert. Perhaps I should move that rockin' boy girl party I'm going to throw when I'm thirty up ten years. We are definitely going to play spin the bottle.

6. Been tunnel singing. This is not a regret, just and observation.

7. Been to Idaho. Of course, there are a lot of places I've never been but hasn't everyone been to Idaho? Never you mind. I have no desire to go there so no harm done. Let them have their "Gem State" and be done with it.

8. Sung Michael Jackson's "Ben" at a Karaoke party. I've always wanted to but it just never happens. Let's get on this. We are definitely doing Karaoke after spin the bottle.

9. Told an employer I was quitting. I could expand here but I have already lost too much respect with the whole never been kissed thing. Here's the deal. I'm not a flake I've just never gotten around to quitting at any of my previous jobs. Oh, I guess that makes me a flake. One big flaky never been kissed flake.

10. Gotten over the death of my first pet. She was a hooded rat and her death is undoubtedly the cause of my not doing most, if not all, of the above mentioned things. Wow, I feel terrible right now.